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Oh, my sagging chest

June 24, 2009

I remember when I was getting married one of my bridesmaid had just given birth to her second child. She and I had been friends since the fourth grade so it wasn’t unusual of her to tell me about her complaints as a mother. While we talked she placed her son to ber breast to allow him to eat and naturally the topic of conversation went there. I don’t remember any specifics except for her saying at one point, “Oh, believe me, once you are done breastfeeding these babies deflate down past their normal size.”

Obviously that comment concerned me. Being a barely B woman, I was disturbed to learn that my breasts could very well shrink after giving my baby the nurishmen that it needed. While pregnant and breastfeeing another friend of mine comforted me with the fact that her boobs actually stayed larger. The only difference is that she started out as a D and didn’t necessarily want them any larger than that.

Well, after three months have gone by with no more breastfeeding I stand before the mirror, naked and sorrowful. They are smaller, deflated and just generally jigglier. Not anything I would brag about. In fact, I need to go bra shopping because many of my bras have gape where there used to be plumped flesh.

Thankfully my husband appears to not care. He’s just glad that the girls are all his again. Nutrition for our child aside, he was not too keen on sharing what used to be his with his DD. Apparently daddy could use a refresher course on sharing.

When I asked him, jokingly, what he would do if I got a boob job he answered that he’d be pissed, especially if I didn’t tell him first. He knows I’m joking. I have always advocated for natural beauty. Honestly the thought of stuffing my breast with silicone is not appealing to me. But the more I look in the mirror, the more I wish there was another option out there. Maybe some miracle pill meant to enhance breast size without the risk of cancer. Something.

Until then I will have to rely on the miracle bra. It really is miraculous, actually.

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