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Truth is stranger than fiction

July 9, 2009

This has never been truer in my life than now. I haven’t divulged much of my background, but I have to tell a bit in this post in order for you to understand the obserdity of what happened. I come from a “broken” home. My mom has been married 3 times, my dad 3 times, my ex-stepfather 3 times (he is included because he was around for most of my life and is the father of my little brother and sister), my stepmother twice (going strong with my daddy though!), my current stepfather 3 times. Geez. All American family, right? Sadly it seems that way, but that is a tangent I won’t get to today.

My stepfather married my mom when I was three. Their divorce finalized when I was 19, but he basically left the house when I was 16. There were a few times that he came back and they “tried to work it out” but he always ended up leaving again. It was tough, especially for my little brother and sister. He was having an affair the entire time with a woman he used to go to high school with. The disgusting thing is that I met here (without knowing the goings on behind the scenes) when I was 15 at the bar she owned. I ended up driving home because my stepdad was too drunk. Did I mention he used to drink alot? Oh, and that was his idea of “spending time” with his kids.

The worst part of all was that me and my older brother pieced things together and figured out that he was having an affair before my mother knew. Or at least before we though that she knew.

After the divorce, when would gather as a family to hang we would many times fall into (we’ll call him Dan) “Dan bashing” and things started to come out. Slowly we put together the whole scenario and it was a doozy. It ends up that “Dan” had remet with this lady friend of his through his brother who dilibrately hooked them up while “Dan” was still married to my mother. My mother was a bit of an outcast with the family because she doesn’t like to drink. Their Irish and took it personally.

So this lady friend of “Dan’s” would go to family gatherings, dinners, outings, spend the night with him at “Dan’s” brother’s house, etc, all the while still being married to my mom. Granted during some of that time my mom and he were technically separated, but even during the times that they were supposedly working it out “Dan” would lie and say he had to work and go to his brother’s house to be with this lady. Ugh.

For many reasons that I won’t go into now I broke ties with my ex-stepfather about 5 years ago. I have only spoken to him at my sister’s wedding (he wasn’t invited to mine) and my nephew’s funeral. All for the sake of civility, that this event is bigger than us.

The other day I was talking to my sister-in-law and she was telling me about “Dan”. Apparently he is doing well, has returned to church and the Lord and is trying to mend things with his other kids and stepson. He paid my brother back some money that he owed him, is spending more time with his daughter, is visiting more, etc. Whatever. The other day for 4th of July his whole family was together so he invited my brothers and sister. And my mother. Weird, but besides the point.

One of his brothers (he has 5) stopped by and wanted to come in with his current girlfriend, the girl he left his wife of 25 years for, and the family said no. What! I was shocked! Did they grow a conscience? My SIL was curious as well since she has been around since before the divorce was final so she asked (after a few drinks) my ex-grandmother and two of my ex-aunts. Why is it not okay for “Kevin” to bring his girlfriend around but it was okay for “Dan” to bring “Stephanie” around while he was still married?

The answer? She was an old family friend. Wow.

One Comment leave one →
  1. July 9, 2009 8:36 pm

    Wow…thats really a shocking tale there. I have never heard of a family with such problems! For that I am truly sorry 😦

    Right now I’m writing a blog-book in which the main character learns many things about himself through his adventures. Perhaps something might come up that would help you out?

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