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It’s nice to feel wanted

November 3, 2009

I have another translation to do that is due on Friday. Around 21 pages, which is a lot for just three days, but it turns out that there is quite a bit of repetition. Not too bad. I am spending more time on the structure than on actually translating, but whatever. Like I said, it’s nice to feel wanted, to feel like I am earning some money. The bad thing is that just yesterday I became disciplined again and started in on my third novel, which has been sitting with 83 pages for almost a year now. Just as I was getting excited about being disciplined and actually writing for me, I get other work that I can push aside! Not that I’m complaining, I’m not. No complaining here. I will just have to become disciplined again on Friday. That shouldn’t be to hard since I am spending today and the next two days being disciplined and working on this, right?

Well, that’s what I thought, but I usually feel bad about the state of my house by the time I am done with a translation, so I wonder about my discipline….I really do. It’s incredible how much more discipline it takes to do things for yourself that are not as yet bringing in money like working on my novel or sending out queries to magazines or just searching for writing jobs then to work on something that will bring in a check next week.

But the truth is, although I love the feeling of working and bringing in money (even if it can’t compare to anything close to a salary) I would hate to find myself ten years from now calling myself a translator insted of a writer. I would hate that. Really, really hate that. I want to be a writer. I want to write my own words and see them published, sitting on a shelf somewhere or perhaps being read by someone on the Metro. That’s what I want.

…but at the moment, it is nice to feel wanted.

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