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The Holidays are hard

December 30, 2009

Obviously. Why else would there be so many books, movies and television shows playing on the hardships of the holidays spent with family. In general, spending time with the family is wonderful and hard at the same time, but there is something about the holidays that make spending time with family have that certain tension, that certain stress to it that sometimes makes you laugh and sometimes make you want to pull your hair out by the roots. Literally.

Yesterday I was at the point of pulling my hair out by the roots and screaming like someone locked in a padded room.

Just one question: What is with grandmothers and their excessive need to control their grandchildren? I know it isn’t all of them, but I also know that it isn’t just my MIL either. At least I hope not. I hope that I am not the only DIL that has to suffer her MIL trying to control everyone around her, especially the grandchildren.

Examples? Hmmm. We’ll just go with grandchildren and DIL situations since the control issues she has with her sons is their business and something I get to laugh and roll my eyes at instead of trying not to feel insulted or affected.

DIL wakes up and brings grandchild out to the living room. DIL is told to go back to bed by MIL, even if it is 9:30 in the morning. Who goes back to bed at 9:30am when they aren’t sick?

If DIL and child are alone in a room singing or playing, MIL immediately comes in and starts to sing a different song or start a different game. If DIL is trying to teach colors or numbers or whatever, the MIL does the same on top of the DIL, in spanish. Errrr.

If DIL comes home after spending all day away and grandchild wants to see mommy, MIL has been seen to impede them from it in order to stay with her until the grandchild cries and screams to the point where MIL can no longer hide the fact that she is indeed impeding the child from going into the room where their mommy is.

DIL is unable to do anything alone with grandchild. Either MIL comes with or she pouts to the point of making it an issue and getting her way. DIL then has to leave grandchild with MIL.

MIL is constantly hovering over the shoulder of grandchild, not wanting to leave them alone even one second. Even when the child is old enough to be alone, MIL gives looks to anyone who does so. Usually DIL.

That’s enough to give you a taste, right?

Worse part is that Husband never sees this as he sees his mother as perfect in every way. He doesn’t see the constant shadow of his mother behind his wife when making food for the child, or bathing, etc. Anything that is given to the child is investigated by his mother, but husband doesn’t see it.

Thank goodness my sugar levels were fine in the end (the Lord is good!) as she would then have my diet to control since she is the only one really allowed in her kitchen. Oh, that would not have been fun to have her have a reason to be all over me and my eating, which she is with her sons. She controls their portions, tells them what they should and should not eat, gives them advice on loosing weight (she is overweight herself), etc.

Oh, the holidays. Yes, so much fun. Tomorrow there will be more cousins here, so perhaps the pressure will be off of Queenie a bit. All morning today she has tried to escape her grandmother, which in the end, is not funny (or surprising) and rather sad since I don’t think my MIL understands why Queenie gets tired of being with her. Overwhelmed would be a better word for it. So tomorrow there will be more cousins and the controlling will have to be spread out. And sanity (as much as is possible) will be restored.

Did I mention she has to rub my belly everytime she and I cross paths?

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